It had been one week ever since that incident. On the surface, Kazuya and Jin’s relationship was still a source of gossip for everyone, lunchtime fodder as they would call it. Some of the children were envious of their friendship, some were jealous, others simply viewed them as anomalies to be afraid of.

Frankly Jin didn’t care. He was used to being judged. What was keeping him up at night was the rustling of blankets, the soft sighs of exhaustion below his bunk and he knew Kazuya wasn’t sleeping well at all. For some reason, after that incident, Kazuya had retreated within himself. It was as though he had seen a flaw in Jin, and he had deemed him unworthy of his trust which he had given so readily at first. Even Koki had sensed the crack in their relationship, felt the unresolved tension humming between them during lunchtime.

Whenever he tried to ask, Kazuya would avert his eyes and the look of distress and discomfort on his face was enough to deter Koki. Today, it was time to go for breakfast but Kazuya was bundled up in the blanket, the crown of his tousled hair peeking from beneath the frayed hem.

“Kazuya, aren’t you going for breakfast?” Koki asked, the hint of concern apparent in his voice.

“Koki, I don’t feel well. It’s okay. You go ahead with Jin.” Jin heard the soft, muffled voice of Kazuya. Koki cast an accusing look at Jin. Somehow over the past few weeks, Koki had developed a soft spot for the newcomer with the stubbornness of a terrier. Jin sighed. This was his fault and he might as well shoulder the responsibility. He nodded to Koki who gave him a last warning look before he shuffled his feet and walked out of the dormitory, leaving the both of them alone.

Jin looked at the slightly quivering frame hidden beneath the blanket and he sat down slowly on the edge of the bed. The bed frame moaned and creaked in protest at the increased weight. Kazuya peeked from beneath the blanket and it was a hostile look that told Jin that he was an unwelcome intruder trespassing on his private space.

“Kazuya, can you listen to me?” Jin said softly, his hand resting on Kazuya’s shoulder. He wasn’t going to blame Kazuya for being childish, he was, for all his apparent maturity, just fourteen. Still teetering on the edge of his teenager years. He might have seen more, might have experienced more but he was perhaps afraid too, of what he was feeling, this uncertainty and fear that his feelings might not be reciprocated.

After a few muted seconds, he saw Kazuya pull down the blanket, his eyes bloodshot and dark shadows rimming his eyes. He sat up, locks of hair falling messily over his eyes as he avoided eye contact with Jin.

“I’m listening Jin,” He said in a tremulous voice. Looking at how frail and skinny Kazuya looked in the oversize shirt, Jin felt a ridiculous impulse to pull Kazuya into his arms. Something that had nothing to do with rationale, sense or self-preservation. But then, when it came to Kazuya, rationale was often relegated to an afterthought. This time, Jin caved in to temptation. He placed one hand on the small of Kazuya’s back and pulled him close.

He could hear the soft gasp of surprise and indignation and feel the initial struggle as Kazuya’s hands, splayed wide on his chest, were trying hard to push him away. And he didn’t let go. He simply held on as he heard the little hiss of annoyance from Kazuya, the squirming and wriggling of the warm body that was making his anatomy react in the most inconvenient manner.

“Let me go Jin. You said I’m too young for any of this. I don’t understand your reasoning but it’s okay. You can go on with your life and I won’t be clinging onto you.” Jin couldn’t help the little upward curve of his lips. Kazuya was amusingly easy to read, he didn’t have the habit of armoring himself with words and that was what Jin found so endearing. And that was what made Jin love him.

"I’m sorry. I was being a jerk when I said that. Kazuya, I never felt like this before. In some way, I keep thinking I’ll fuck things up and then we can’t even be friends. And I treasure your friendship a lot. I’m not the most articulate person but I’ll like to try. For your sake, I’ll like to try….” Jin’s voice trailed off into the pregnant silence and he smoothed his hands down the curve of Kazuya’s back, so delicate under his touch.

“I thought you said I was too young,”

“I won’t say that again.” Jin said as his body tensed at the reminder of how brash he had been and how he had hurt the one person who cared about him.

“Does that mean I can do this?” Jin felt Kazuya’s hand, brushing against the side of his cheek and he flinched a little at the intimacy. But looking into those dark cinnamon eyes, he saw the sincerity, he saw the earnestness. And he entwined his fingers with Kazuya’s and brought them to his mouth. He placed a soft kiss on the knuckle and he heard the harsh intake of breath from Kazuya. Their eyes interlocked over their entwined hands and Jin knew he should take the initiative. He tentatively wrapped his other hand around Kazuya’s nape and he placed his lips on Kazuya. Soft, questing and undemanding. Then he heard little whimper as Kazuya tried to move closer, to obliterate the space between them. And he spread his legs wider as Kazuya moved between them, leaning his weight into Jin’s body.

It felt so delicious, so tantalizing to feel every angular plane, every soft curve of Kazuya’s body against his that Jin knew he wasn’t going to stop. He would probably be regretting this transgression later, but that could wait. For now, there was only the faint smell that was distinctively Kazuya tickling his nose, the desire pooling in his groins. And he felt Kazuya’s hand sliding underneath the hem of his shirt and Kazuya was studying Jin's face for any sign of disapproval or anger. And when he found none, that hand got bolder. It trailed a burning path across Jin’s torso, fingertips learning the touch of the feverish skin underneath.

Kazuya was so slow, so cautious that it only heightened Jin’s state of arousal. It was like anticipation pinning his heart beneath its heavy weight and he found it hard to breathe. He hissed an expletive when he realized Kazuya had stopped, those pools of liquid eyes unsure as he took in Jin’s impatience. In his hazed mind, Jin realized Kazuya wasn’t exactly experienced and he probably mistook it as anger and reluctance. 

In his panic, he grabbed Kazuya’s hand and placed it on his burgeoning hardness. Kazuya reacted as though he had been torched and he tried frantically to pull his hand back. But Jin gripped his hand like a vise, and Kazuya was no match for Jin’s strength.

“When people are in love, they want to touch each other. And this is what happens, I mean it’s a natural reaction. And you don’t have to do anything about it, I’m just telling you.” And for the first time in his life, Jin was actually tongue-tied and stumbling over his words as he tried to give his own rendition of sex education. He watched Kazuya’s eyes widen slightly in amazement and then faint disappointment.

“But what if I want to do something about it?” Jin swallowed and he could taste the dryness in his mouth as Kazuya leaned in closer and the hand. That hand was slowly moulding, cupping his hardness through the flannel material. And Jin couldn’t stop the string of profanities and gutter words that came out of his mouth. There was a soft laughter from Kazuya and he could see the glimmer of impish mischief in those eyes. Fucking tease, he thought as he flipped Kazuya over with his forearms.

Bad move because now Kazuya was looking flushed and wanton with his dusky red lips parted in invitation, and beguiling eyes looking at him from beneath those thick lashes. And he was about to do what every normal man would do, when there was a slight cough, a clearing of the throat and he pulled away.

It was Koki and he was staring at the floor. In fact he was looking everywhere but at Jin who had shielded Kazuya from Koki’s line of sight. Finally Koki settled his gaze on a spot at the wall.

“Er….our adoption officer. She wants to see you. Kazuya.” Koki said, his voice strangely hoarse.

Kazuya’s eyes met Jin and somehow, the moment Jin had always dreaded had come after all, without warning or premonition of any sort. There was an inevitable look of fatalistic acceptance in Jin’s eyes as he smiled at Koki. A smile that felt forced to him as Koki exchanged knowing looks with Jin.

“Why? I don’t wanna go. Why does she want to see me?” Jin wanted to tell Kazuya everything would be all right, that nothing would change but he couldn’t. Because he would be lying. For all his promises, he couldn’t protect Kazuya. How could he? He was barely a grown-up himself, still struggling to find his way, still struggling to come to terms with his own feeling of inadequacy.

But one thing he knew, he wanted the best for Kazuya and he knew better than most, that a good future wasn’t found in an orphanage. And if Kazuya had to leave him to find it, then so be it.